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When Chanukah and Christmas collide
It doesn’t happen every year because Jewish holidays are based on a lunar calendar, but this December, Chanukah and Christmas will coincide. Chanukah begins at sunset on December 21 and Christmas Eve occurs just three days later, in the midst of the eight-day festival of lights.
What’s the best way for interfaith families to deal with this unusual convergence? Bridges, our JCF interfaith newsletter consulted two experts who have worked with interfaith families for many years: Dawn Kepler, founder and director of Building Jewish Bridges, and Rosanne Levitt, founder and past director of Interfaith Connection.
Bridges: How do you celebrate when Christmas takes place during Chanukah?
Rosanne: First of all we have to keep in mind that these holidays are not the same in importance in their respective traditions. Whether it’s celebrated religiously or not, Christmas is a very significant holiday for Christians. Chanukah, on the other hand, is a minor Jewish holiday, made important by its proximity to Christmas. A friend visiting me from South Africa was amazed at the big deal American Jews make out of it.
Dawn: I don’t recommend building Chanukah up to try to make it competitive with Christmas. Let it be what it is – a time to light candles together and enjoy traditional foods and games.
Bridges: Can you celebrate the two holidays in one extended family gathering?
Dawn: I suggest separating the two. You can have a Chanukah gathering any of the other eight nights and join your family for Christmas Eve or day. But if, for example, there is only one night that your extended family can be together and you’re considering recognizing both holidays at that time, the important first step is to call a family conference and find out how everyone feels about it before making a decision. There are a lot of high emotions around Christmas. You must be sensitive to grandma and grandpa’s feelings and be respectful of family traditions.
Rosanne: If you decide to celebrate two holidays at one family gathering, separation is still important. Put the Chanukiah, the Chanukah menorah, in another room, or at least a different side from the Christmas tree, and set aside a special time to light the candles and think about this holiday.
It’s particularly important to keep boundaries clear so that your children can understand that there are two different holidays and one is celebrated by Daddy’s family and the other by Mommy’s. As long as you are clear yourselves, your children will get it.
Dawn: This is an opportunity to be a responsible educator.
Rosanne: Of course, each of our families is different and you have to find the way that works for yours.
Dawn: It’s important to remember that you’re treading in new territory. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a rabbi or another professional to help you sort it out.
There are a number of programs and professionals in the Bay Area to help you explore your feelings and options. Among them are:
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Emil and Maria* live in a modest home near San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park. Emil was born in Austria, and while still a boy, he and his parents immigrated to South America in the late 1930s to escape the increasing repression of Jewish people. As a young man in the late 1940s, Emil left South America and came to the United States. As the years went by he prospered, in import/exports, pharmaceutical sales and finally as a realtor in San Francisco. He met Maria at a dinner party here in the mid-1960s and they were soon married. She had also emigrated to the United States from South America.
Emil described his commitment to Judaism, tikkun olam (repair of the world) and his interfaith marriage with Maria: “I was never very religious, but I believe that if you are born a Jew, you stay a Jew. Even though we are an interfaith couple, we have never had a religious problem. She would never deny me my synagogue; I would never deny her, her church. Where else in the world would an Austrian Jew meet a Chilean Catholic and get married but here in the Bay Area? We have no children, but we both feel an obligation to help society. We want to help those who are less fortunate then us. And I want to plan for my wife’s future.”
Emil has health problems and knows that his time is short. It is likely that Maria will outlive him. He has set up a Charitable Gift Annuity (CGA) with the Jewish Community Endowment Fund as a way to care for her in her lifetime and leave a legacy for the Jewish community. A CGA is a charitable gift, enabling the couple to qualify for an income-tax deduction. In addition, the CGA pays guaranteed fixed payments to Emil and Maria, and she will continue to receive payments for the remainder of her lifetime after Emil is gone.
The Charitable Gift Annuity also serves as Emil’s permanent legacy to the Jewish community, with the remaining principle going to the Endowment’s unrestricted funds after the couple’s lifetimes. These unrestricted funds are used to help those in need in the Jewish and general communities. You can find out more about CGA’s and whom to contact for more information here.
*Please note that names and some details have been altered to protect the privacy of the donors.
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Jewish Volunteer Day @ Project Homeless Connect
On Wednesday, December 3, 2008, the Jewish Community, led by JCRC, engaged in real tikkun olam by participating at Jewish Volunteer Day @ Project Homeless Connect (PHC).
PHC is an extraordinary city initiative providing dozens of health and human services in a one-stop-shop model to thousands of San Francisco’s homeless. As part of the effort for December 3rd, 23 synagogues and organizations, including the Federation, Congregations Emanu-El and Sherith Israel, and SF Hillel, partnered to bring out a total of 140 Jewish community volunteers.
As a result, our community helped 1,915 individuals in need to access vital services that would otherwise take months to obtain, including medical, dental, employment, housing, substance abuse, legal and much more. Homeless individuals also exited the site (Bill Graham Auditorium) with a shopping bag full of food as well as a hygiene kit – the latter in large part thanks to the generous contributions (in total approximately 30 filled Safeway bags) from the Jewish Community Hygiene Kit Drive.
Outcomes from December 3, 2008, PHC:
- 1,915 homeless and poor San Franciscans were provided care
- 1,273 volunteers came out to help
- Service Station Outcomes:
| Employment |
70 |
Legal |
165 |
| Eye exams and glasses |
249 |
Medical |
189 |
| Housing information |
324 |
IDs issued |
243 |
| Dental |
50 |
Flu shots |
91 |
79 off the streets through a combination of stabilization housing, shelter and homeward bound |
Rabbi Sydney Mintz of Emanu-El welcomed all volunteers at the morning rally, commending them for their humanity in acknowledging that every person deserves respect and dignity. Unlike many volunteer opportunities, at PHC, volunteers engage in direct service – helping individuals face to face. Volunteer assignments range from food distribution and escorting individuals towards the various service stations to helping at the vision table for eyeglass repair.
Thank you to everyone who volunteered their time and who contributed to the hygiene kits. The enthusiasm and compassion in volunteering on this day was touching to see, and a proud accomplishment for our community. Rabbi Marv Goodman of the Board of Rabbis brought closure for Jewish volunteers who stayed until the day’s end to share and discuss their experiences. Volunteers have shared that this day “gave me a sense of connection,” and is “Tzedakah in its highest form.”
Jewish Volunteer Day @ Project Homeless Connect occurs once a year, but PHC takes place nearly every other month. To volunteer at the next PHC, on February 4th at Bill Graham, visit www.projecthomelessconnect.com.
For more information on Jewish Volunteer Day contact www.jcrc.org or Casey Cohen - kcohen@jcrc.org
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Two awards recognize teens
The Haas/Koshland award and the Diller Tikkun Olam award serve to recognize exceptional Jewish youth for their work. Nomination due-dates for these two awards are coming up soon.
Study for a year in Israel
The Haas/Koshland award provides a stipend up to $20,000 for study and travel to at least one outstanding student (either from or attending school in the Federation’s service areas) of exceptional academic achievement and a strong commitment to Israel.
Now in its 23rd year, the award was created to honor Walter A. Haas, Sr. and Daniel E. Koshland, Sr., both of whom were long-time Federation leaders. Daniel’s grandson, Jim Koshland - following his family’s tradition of service - currently serves as president for the Jewish Community Federation. The award was established as a permanent fund with the Federation’s Jewish Community Endowment Fund to commemorate their lifelong commitment to local colleges and universities and their dedication to Israel. Descendents of Haas and Koshland, including children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, participate in the committee that selects the winner each year. The award is open to college students, sophomore year through graduate level, from the Federation’s service areas of San Francisco, the Peninsula, Marin and Sonoma counties or students attending school in the service area, without restriction as to academic discipline.
February 1, 2009 is the deadline for applications. For more information please contact Laura Mason, 415.512.6273 or lauram@sfjcf.org. To apply please click here.
Get $36,000 to repair the world!
Now entering its 3rd year the Diller Tikkun Olam Awards recognize five Jewish teens from throughout California for their amazing efforts to “repair the world” locally and around the world. California Jewish teens between 13 and 19 years old are eligible to win one of the five $36,000 awards. They can use the award money to further their education or to further their community service. To find out more about the award and past award winners, please click here.
February 17, 2009 is the deadline for nominations. For more information please contact Nicole Miller, Director of Diller Teen Initiatives, 415.512.6206 or email nicolem@sfjcf.org. To apply go to: www.sfjcf.org/diller/teenawards. Each nomination form only takes a few minutes to complete and can make an enormous impact on the life of the young people who win.
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Challah Back!
The Young Adults Division (YAD) has launched a new blog named Challah Back! Covering community, philanthropy and leadership, Challah Back offers the inside scoop on the city's hottest events for professional, young Jews, including the Latke Ball on December 24.
Meet the board members, find out how you can get involved and learn more about YAD in each post. Check out the latest at http://sfjcf.wordpress.com/category/young-adults-division/ or subscribe to the RSS feed.
Most trafficked YAD posts:
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Events
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Osher Marin JCC, 200 N. San Pedro Rd., San Rafael (map)
Meet other Chai Baby families with similar age babies and toddlers; hear a story about a dreidel; and enjoy the lighting of the 4th night of Chanukah at 3:00 at the Osher Marin JCC. If you haven't yet received your Chai Baby gift this is the perfect time to pick one up.
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Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Ruby Skye, 420 Mason St, San Francisco (map)
The Bay Area's premier annual social event for young Jewish adults that will bring together over 1,000 Jews for an evening of fun and groove! Featuring DJ Danman and DJ Solomon.
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Wednesday, January 7, 2008
Temple Isaiah, 3800 Mt. Diablo Blvd., Lafayette (map)
Session 1 of 4. Melting Pot or Salad Bowl? Israeli society is one of the most pluralistic, diverse, democratic societies in the world. The course with Vavi Toran will explore a few distinct groups and experience their history, heritage, culture and traditions.
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Sunday, January 11, 2009
Red Rock Coffee, 201 Castro Street, 2nd Floor, Mountain View (map)
An informal gathering for young adults with conversational Hebrew skills, about anything that can be discussed in Hebrew, plus a little something to drink and a little something to nosh.
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Monday, January 12, 2009
SIP, 787 Broadway Street, San Francisco (map)
Join fellow Jewish young adults at one of the biggest happy hours around.
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Thursday, January 22, 2009
Sprint Executive Briefing Center, 1850 Gateway Drive, 7th Flr., San Mateo (map)
This networking event is designed to help 21st century women redefine the paradigm of what it means to work, and to "make it work" amongst all the other commitments and goals in their lives.
More...
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